THISISJOHN

Fall always reminds me of falling in love. That, and it starts to let me know that our eliptical path around the sun is taking us further away from it right now, and I can apprecriate the autumn cold, at 6,500 feet elevation. When I was in 5th grade, I had a huge crush on this girl in Sparks named Holly. She lived about a half-mile away from me, and she got me to do crazy things to prove that I liked her, like drinking Tabasco sauce. Her favorite musician was Michael Jackson, and she would play her favorite songs for me. We had a brief friendship, an innocent love, and as the days got shorter, our puppy love faded into the winter. I don't know if it was because I was born in January or maybe if it's just because I am warm blooded, but my favorite time of the year is Winter. They way our seasons are structured, I get to enjoy my winter just long enough before it condemns me with some sort of complex in lack of light and heat. And conversely, the summer heat lasts just long enough for me to greatly anticipate the frozen ground and biting cold. And being tucked into a blanket with the one I love, watching movies, tv, sipping hot chocolate. These are things I desire. Winter also reminds me of a dissolving marriage. Of being too poor to pay the heating bill. Of writing in this diaryland diary trying to deal with it all. Four years later, here I am. I am on the verge of a new beginning. The dawn of a new marriage. A new life, one that will work this time. The amount of change I made, in response to the dissolution of Marriage Number One, has made me into this new person. I am much more happier with this person, in terms of being a mate and a companion. My new chapter brings a whole new hope, and an inevitable evolution where two become one. Time and experience have prepared me much better this time around, and I can honestly say that I have no regrets. When you get older, you learn that youthful pain and error are the bulding blocks for wisdom.