THISISJOHN

Today I slept 11 hours. This is not a normal thing for me. In fact, I have been sleeping a lot longer at one time, than I have all of my life. I don't know what it is that is contributing to my need for more sleep. Maybe it is true, I am getting older and this is one of the symptoms. My teenage years are now more than 5 years past. I am traveling over the hill (or should I say over the knoll, because over the hill means over 40) into the thirties and my physiology is changing. But let me say also, that I like becoming older. Which might sound strange. Maybe if I was a woman, I wouldn't feel the same, because it seems that all women want to be younger. When we were all children, we so desperately wanted to be older so that we could be free to exist and express and do what we want. Then we get older, and want to be younger. Its one of life's greatest ironies. And I also might note, that it may seem strange for me to say that I want to be older and look forward to it, for the simple fact that I am just a child at heart in many ways. I think thats why I want to have children right now. I would be an excellent dad, I think. I love kids. Kids remind me of how we want to be older. But the caveat is the trade-off for all of this "liberty", and that is knowledge of good and evil. Loss of innocence. Idealist parents try with all of their might to keep their children "innocent", and in this day and age, that can be quite difficult. The real ideal is balance. And that is the most difficult objective to reach as a parent, in my opinion. Balance to know how innocent and how aware your child needs to be. Balance in every aspect of their life. And each one is different. Do you SEE how important the role of a parent is? I think the responsibility of trying to do a good and balanced job is more intimidating than the actual physical work involved in being a parent. This ramble has been brought to you in part by the letter P, and the numbers 0, 30, and 40.